gringa

(sorry, the pics don't really line up with my words ... hope you can understand anyway!)

This week … I relished my status as a GRINGA (white girl), enjoying 5 days as a genuine tourist in Cuzco! Seriously, there are more foreigners than Peruvians in that city … and more English than any other language, which was a nice break! I was so thankful to get to spend this time with Solomon Martinez, a fellow HNGR intern whose internship site, Ayacucho, is about a 10 hour drive from Andahuaylas. It was so great to get to debrief our time so far, and we also took full advantage of our time in this tourist city … even enjoying McFlurries and pizza!!

We took a night bus on Friday, arriving at about 4:30am. We crashed at my coworker Angela’s place for a few hours and then spent the rest of Saturday getting to Aguas Calientes, aka Machu Picchu Pueblo. It basically exists to house and feed extranjeros on their way to Machu Picchu. One kind of funny thing is that literally almost every restaurant there calls itself a “pizzeria”! I guess that’s what most foreigners want … and as I’ve already confessed, guilty here!

On Sunday we got up super early to get in line for the bus to Machu Picchu. It was so worth getting up early to get to see it with less tourists crawling all over … This place is AMAZING!! A TON of walking (my feet and legs are still sore!), but the views are incredible. It is so fascinating to think about the history of the ruins as well. I can’t believe it was only “discovered” in 1911! I took a ton of pictures … enjoy ☺













After exploring Machu Picchu from 6:30am until almost 1pm, we headed back to Aguas Calientes and relaxed the rest of the day. Monday morning we headed back toward Cuzco via Ollantaytambo, another town with really cool ruins. This was probably my second favorite part of the trip – the pueblo is still original Inca construction, there’s a really cool artisan market, and we hiked around the ruins for quite awhile before taking a taxi the rest of the way back to Cuzco.
We purchased a “tourist ticket” that let us go into several museums, ruins, and a really beautiful native dance show, which is what we did the rest of Monday and all day Tuesday. Those nights we spent at a crazy hostel replete with 20-and-30-something Europeans and Americans, sleeping in a room with 8 other people … I enjoyed the free internet and hot shower a lot ☺ Wednesday morning we hopped on the bumpy bus back to Andahuaylas, arriving back at my house at about 5pm, TIRED. I totally recommend the Machu Picchu trip … although it is quite expensive, and requires a ton of walking.

Being a “gringa” here has been interesting. I stand out because of my white skin, greenish eyes, less-than-great Spanish, lighter brown hair, and especially my size – just tonight, I was out shopping for a birthday cake with a coworker and a little girl looked up at me, wide-eyed, and commented “You’re big! Do you eat a lot? You’re bigger than everyone in this store!!” Sometimes it’s really strange when people remind me of how different I am … because I forget that I look so very different from them. I guess I like to pretend that I fit in. But then every other person on the street starts practicing their English, or a coworker asks me for my computer when I leave, or the taxi driver tries to rip me off, or a little kid yells out “Hola, gringita!”




























It’s not always very fun to be the outsider … or to be automatically associated with the United States. It was interesting to be in Cuzco for Peruvian Independence Day (July 28) ... We saw this poster hung up in the plaza underneath a sign reading "Somos libros?" (Are we free?), and there were spaces for people to write down there thoughts and opinions. Ouch.






I have been thinking a lot about my identity while I’m here. It reminds me of the days of being called “bature” in Nigeria, as well! Sometimes, I fall too easily into the role of privileged foreigner … and other times it really bothers me. And what have I done to deserve to be able to afford an awesome vacation to Cuzco? In reality, nothing ... As people stereotype me, I think about the many times I’ve stereotyped others. It doesn’t make me feel too good. I’m sure I’ll continue to learn about this throughout the rest of my time here (unless I figure out a way to get really tan, dye my hair, and … shrink?).

Now I’m back to work … still hoping to fall into some kind of routine, but trying to go with the flow. Things at home are still great, and I was excited to meet Talita, my host sister, upon my return to Andahuaylas! I’m looking forward to spending time with the host fam this weekend.

Please be in prayers for my family this week – as I write this, they are en route to Nigeria! Pray for Katie, who is “alone” in Chicago … and for Mom, Dad, Steph, and Jon, who will be adjusting to Jos life again … I love you all and wish we were all together, fam!

Love to everyone … thanks for your continued encouragement and prayers. Still homesick, but feeling better about life in general ☺

familia

One of the best parts of being in Peru has been living with my wonderful host FAMILIA! While work at the office has been frustrating and I often feel like I'm a waste of space, I always look forward to walking home to spend time with Grimaldo, Elizabeth, and Yordani. And although a little sad, it was actually encouraging this weekend when Grimaldo and Elizabeth both separately asked me why I was sad, if I missed Luke, if I was homesick ... because it shows me that we are finally getting to know one another better! I am so thankful to be part of a family unit. It has been the simple things that have been immense blessings, like sitting in the store with Elizabeth yesterday while she knitted and I read ... like teaching Yordani how to play Crazy 8's (miss you, Oma!) ... like eating every meal together ... like spending time snuggling in Mamá and Papá's bed every night watching TV before we all go to sleep. It has been so important to finally find a "place to belong" of sorts. (this is the "inside" of the house - there are 2 kitchens and a bathroom and a meeting room on this floor, and then our bedrooms and another bathroom upstairs. I love all the plants!)

Each chilly morning I wake up around 6:15 and spend some time with the Lord. This has been extremely life-giving and important for my daily functioning. That is one thing about times where we feel completely weak, inadequate, and at the end of our ropes - during these times, we realize how VITAL God's faithfulness and presence and daily provision are! I head down to the kitchen around 7 and do what I can to help Mamá, who usually already has everything set to go. I have really only been able to help wash dishes and sweep pretty much - she is super organized and I'm still trying to figure out how she has time to cook, clean, and go to work every day! For breakfast we usually have bread with a hot drink made out of some kind of grain (kind of like drinkable oatmeal). Sometimes we all eat together, but usually Mamá and I eat earlier because we have work earlier.

I leave for the office at 7:30, and walk 30 minutes to get there. I have come to really enjoy this time to think and pray, as well as for exercise. My time at the office has been pretty unstructured so far, but that will probably change soon, as my supervisor has finally told me that we are going to make a master plan of my time here! My type-A personality says YAYYY!



I walk home for lunch at 1pm, arriving around 1:30. Mamá and Yordani are usually ready to eat when I get there, and Papá arrives shortly after I do. Lunch is the biggest meal of the day. After lunch, I sometimes have time to relax, wash the dishes, or hang out with Yordani before heading back to work, either on foot or on the bus, arriving back at the office at 3. We work until about 6, and then I take the bus home again. In the evenings, we eat dinner (smaller than lunch) and hang out until about 9, and snuggle in Mamá and Papá's bed until about 10, when I am exhausted and go to bed.

Papá goes to church pretty much every evening, and always invites me to go with. I don't go every time, but I think he appreciates the company, because Yordani and Elizabeth usually only go on Sunday nights. He is very enthusiastic about his faith. He prays very passionately, and has given a message in church twice in the 2 weeks I've been with the family. I love his tousled hair and big smile. I have the most trouble understanding his Spanish, probably because he is really funny and always telling jokes, which are often very fast and use vocabulary with which I'm not familiar! We are learning how to understand each other better though. Papá has a motorcycle ... and I am proud to say that I enjoyed my first motorcycle ride ever in Perú with him! He says he's going to teach me how to drive it!

Mamá is also really hilarious and smiles and laughs a lot. I love to hear her call out "hija mia!" (my daughter!) whenever she wants me to come down to the kitchen. She wants to teach me how to cook and wash clothes so that I'll be a good wife someday :) She does everything she can to make me feel accepted and loved, and I have so appreciated her efforts to make me feel at home ... even down to helping me take a bucket bath!! I hope to be able to help out around the house more, even though I'm far from "domestic" in terms of the kind of work she has to do every day to keep the family running! She has been so patient, though, and I look forward to getting closer to her with time.

Yordani, too, has been really accepting and helpful as I adjust to life here. He's 12, and has been such a good dose of play and fun for me. I think he has appreciated my presence, too, because he loves to teach me new words in Spanish, as well as display all his knowledge of the US and learn all he can about life there. This has been great for me, because I've learned a lot from him, too, and he never tires of my endless questions about culture, Spanish, food, and everything else I'm trying to figure out. It is also so rewarding to see his big smile whenever I greet him "Hermanito! Cómo estás?" (Little brother! How are you?). He spends a lot of time taking care of the store in the front of the house that the family owns, as he only goes to school from 8am to 1pm.

I have yet to meet Taly, my 18-year-old host sister who is studying medicine in Bolivia. She will arrive for vacation this week sometime, and the other 3 members of my host family are EXTREMELY excited to see her! I'm really looking forward to spending time with her, as well, after hearing so much about her. I'll be sure to include a picture of her as soon as I can.

We also have 2 dogs - Esnoopy and Pequy (short for Pequeña, which means Tiny - the brown one) - who have finally accepted me as part of the family and don't bark at me quite as much! We also have some birds which sing cheerfully from about 3am til dark ...















And we have cuy in the kitchen to take care of biodegradable trash!















I have enjoyed spending the last 2 weekends with the family. Mamá and Papá play a lot of volleyball teams from work, so I've watched quite a few games, and played with them some as well. I also got to go swimming yesterday, in FREEZING cold water! I didn't last too long, but I was glad for the chance ... and hope to go again maybe after this winter season is over!

Thanks to all who prayed for me to be placed with a loving host family - God has definitely answered! Please pray for continued bonding time with them, and that I would be a blessing to them even as I have received so many blessings through them.

My other biggest prayer request is for the work situation, which just continues to get me down. Sometimes I'm really overwhelmed, and other times completely bored. I'm tired of the rollercoaster and hopeful that it will even out with time ... but also trying to be content exactly where I am right now.

Thanks for supporting me through this crazy journey! As always, would love to hear from you about what's going on in your life!

Estar, Escuchar, y Esperar

I am learning so much here. Every day I have moments where I ask myself, "Why the heck am I here??" ... but as I reflect on all the things God is teaching me, I realize that being in Peru is so much bigger than learning Spanish, doing a great independent study, or really connecting with my host family (although I still hope to do all those things!!). With so many of my supports and comforts stripped away, I feel really raw. But it is forcing me to my knees at the feet of the Savior, and for that I can say THANK YOU LORD. I am called to be obedient day by day, step by step, moment by moment ... This is a little terrifying for a control freak like me. I would love to have my 5-month plan all set to go at this moment. However, I think God has something else in mind. He is teaching me so much DEPENDENCE! He is also teaching me to ESTAR, ESCUCHAR, y ESPERAR.

ESTAR:
The "Access to Justice" branch of Paz y Esperanza is developing a training program for community leaders throughout the districts of Andahuaylas and Chincheros. 40 selected leaders will be trained to be "Defensoras Comunitarias" (effectively, Community Defenders) through capacitation in domestic violence, human rights, etc. They will have small offices in their communities where they will help community members with legal processes. This past week, I took 2 trips to a community 2 and a half hours away from Andahuaylas called Uripa, where Paz hosted 3 election meetings to choose these
Defensoras Comunitarias. In theory, I was there to help ... but in reality, what I mostly did was ESTAR (be). These meetings lasted between 2 and 4 hours each, and every time, I was the awkward gringa standing in front of everyone, unable to understand what was going on (it was mostly in Quechua). I would have loved to be the one talking, explaining how important it is to defend community rights, showing how much I know about it ... But I COULDN'T. I felt so helpless. I felt like it was a waste. And then I was further humbled when presented with a gift by some of the leaders! But what I'm realizing is the fact that sometimes we can't always DO something ... but we do have to BE. I realized this again last night when I went to the wake of a relative of my host mom's. I didn't even know the woman. I didn't have any encouraging words to say about her life or where she is now. But I could BE there. And sometimes that is the most important thing.

ESCUCHAR: "This 9 year old girl was molested by her father. Can you talk to her?"
"My daughter witnessed her father being unfaithful to me with my sister. Doctor Psychologist, what should I say to her?"
"My brother beat me on Friday, but I can't tell the police because he has a pregnant wife and 3 children, and what will they do without him?"
"My husband abandoned me and my children, 5 and 2 years old, and now we have nothing to eat."
Each of these situations were explained to me in the last week. Each time, I was introduced as a "psychologist." Each time, I felt my stomach drop and I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream out, "I've only had 3 years of college, and I'm FAR from being a psychologist! I don't even know if that's what I want to be!" But each time, the most important thing to do was ESCUCHAR. I am finding out that there is a desperate need for psychologists in this area (in a state of 700,000 people, there are only 8 psychologists, and not many of them speak Quechua). I am no psychologist. But I do have 5 months of my time to LISTEN. This is a lesson that I hope to take with me the rest of my life, whether or not I continue in psychology. There are so many people out there that just need someone to listen to them.

ESPERAR: I recently realized that the word esperar in Spanish means both "to wait" and "to hope." I mean, I've used the word in both contexts plenty of times, but I think there is something special about the fact that waiting and hoping are represented by the same verb. I have had a LOT of time to just think this past week - lots of time in the car, lots of time listening to a language I don't understand, lots of time watching my host parents play volleyball ... A lot of the time, I was daydreaming about Luke (heehee) or thinking about what I wanted to eat :) ... but I hope to transform my waiting into hoping. I don't just want to WAIT around, I want to be HOPEFUL that Jesus is coming again ... that He will transform the darkness into light ... that He will use me in my weakness. Sometimes, too, I think I need to transform my hoping into waiting! Instead of saying, "I HOPE God will use me," I want to say that "I am WAITING for God to use me." I love words :) And praise God I think my Spanish IS improving!!

Just wanted to share a few of the lessons I'm learning here. Each day continues to be a battle, but I'm thankful that I can reflect on what I'm learning and not view EVERYTHING as a waste. Some other happy reports:

1. I LOVE being with my host family! More about them next time, but a definite highlight is finding out that they like to all cuddle in Mamá and Papá's bed every night to watch TV before going to sleep.



2. I successfully gave a 2 hour lecture on domestic violence to forty 13-16 year olds IN SPANISH yesterday! I was so terrified (and would have been even if it had been in English), but it went really well.











(you can spot me pretty much anywhere with this awesome yellow jacket that I'm rocking pretty much every day. It is COLD at night and in the mornings!!)









3. I'm getting more exercise, as the office is a half hour walk from home and I'm able to do it twice or three times a day usually. I feel physically a lot better!!

Please continue praying for comfort for my heart as I still struggle for joy in loneliness ... for all of these people that I encounter who have so much pain in their lives, and that God would give me understanding and wisdom to know when and how to speak and when to listen ... and that God would give me the strength to be obedient in the little things. I had a great talk with my wonderful friend Ashley this week (love you girl!). She is struggling with a lot of the same things that I am, but in Venezuela! We realized that our struggles are a lot like weightlifting: We do it because we want to be strong, but we wish we didn't have to do it. We wish we could just want to be strong, and POOF, we could become strong! And while we are lifting the weights, IT HURTS! And it actually makes us feel weaker for awhile. But over time, we heal. And we become stronger. And as a Christian, I guess I can also be praising God that I feel weak, because in my weakness, His strength is more visible!! But it is not easy.

THANK YOU again for prayers and encouragement. I always love to hear from everyone, so please update me on your life as well!!

Love, Christine

DIOS

This has been my toughest week so far, dear friends and family. I was so excited to finally be going to Andahuaylas to start my new life here ... but I think it just kind of hit me when I got here that I will be here for over 5 more months! I started feeling a lot of despair and loneliness, and was quickly overwhelmed upon arrival at the Paz office as I thought about how unqualified I am and how little I have to offer. Everyone continues to be very hospitable and generous, but it has been easy to feel "alone in a crowd" ... partly because I just started getting to know people, but also largely because I still lack the vocabulary I need to really get to know people deeply, or even to understand what's going on sometimes. It was also really difficult to think about the Verschoor side of the family being together in Chicago to celebrate the 4th together! I wished so much that I was there.

HOWEVER ... there have been many bright spots in the gray of the last week ... and the title of this post is DIOS, because the Lord has not abandoned me! He continues to show me His faithfulness in provision and knowledge of His presence, and He continues teaching me dependence on Him, patience in frustrating circumstances, and humility to realize that His strength is most visible when I am weak! These have not been easy lessons, and I'm surely not finished learning them ... but I know I am not alone. God has provided many opportunities for me to be encouraged by friends and family by allowing me to talk to them online (my family, Luke, Emily G, Courtney, Meghan, Ashley to name a few - THANK YOU for supporting me!). I think my biggest prayer request right now is that God would provide a community here where I can support and be supported, participate, give, and receive ... I am really craving love and attention, and real friendship!! Oh 6 months feels so long right now ... I miss you all :(

But here are 3 highlights from the week!!:

Last Wednesday I went out with my supervisor Lupe to a community called Ongoy. It was supposed to be a 3 hour drive, but ended up being a little more because we got a flat tire ... This drive was absolutely GORGEOUS! I took over 60 pictures just on the ride there!! Here is one of them ... I was overwhelmed by the beauty, and was so thankful to feel God's presence through nature. He is such an awesome creator!





The best part of Ongoy was playing soccer and volleyball with these Quechua-speaking women! It was so much fun to laugh with them as I made a fool of myself, and as their shoes fell off while they kicked the ball ... We had a great time.
(If you can't find me in the pic, I'm the tall gringa with a Cubs hat on - shout out to the Wulbeckers, I've been rocking this hat thinking of you Cubs fans!!)








On Saturday I went to the "Festival de Nispero" with some friends from the office. Kirschner side of the family, I've never been to the Cherry Festival, but I think that's kind of the idea ... They had all kinds of "nispero" foods. Here are candied nisperos - they're really sweet!











We even won free tshirts from the sponsoring cooperative!! I also bought a sombrero to match my friends ... it shades my face from the hot sun very well.

On my left are Ana and Angela from the office, and the other 2 women are friends of Angela's. We enjoyed some music for awhile and just rested on the lawn ... until the long awaited ...







MIS NISPERO 2009 competition!! Yes, a fashion show. There were 8 contestants, 3 rounds - traditional clothing, swimsuit (this caused a stampede, seriously), and elegant dresses. What a riot!! Here are some of the contestants on the stage in traditional clothing. Oh, and there were guys onstage to help them down to the runway. Crazy!!






My third highlight is that I finally moved in with my host family yesterday! I am so looking forward to living in a home with a family. My initial impressions from yesterday and today are that they are very loving and generous, and that this will be a really good experience for all of us (I hope!). My host parents are Grimaldo and Elizabeth, and they have a 13 year old son named Jordany and an 18 year old daughter named Talita who is studying medicine in Cochebamba, Bolivia (shout out, Emily G!!). She will be home for vacation when she finishes her exams in about a week. Also living in the house are a young woman named Lourdes and her brother Danny who study at a school nearby ... 2 dogs (one is an adorable puppy named Esnoopy!!) ... lots of caged birds ... and CUY (remember from last week?), which are not only eaten but run free in the kitchen and eat scraps to help keep garbage down!! How crazy!! I have my own room, and Elizabeth helped me unpack and decorate with pictures yesterday, so it is starting to feel more like home. My bed has about 6 blankets on it because it is so COLD at night! I will be returning home for lunch most days, I think, and eating breakfast and dinner with the family as well. I am so thankful for this family!!

Thank you again for your continued support, encouragement, and prayers. They have really helped me this past tough week! Please continue praying for peace and joy in my life ... for connection with my host family and coworkers ... and that the Spirit would comfort and encourage my heart as I miss all of you terribly.
Love, Christine