So … what am I actually DOING in Peru? Not every day is a dance festival, campaign launching march, or trip out to a community. In fact, most days I spend sitting in front of my computer in the OFICINA of Paz y Esperanza.
To be quite honest … I don’t really like it. I guess you could say it’s helping me realize that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life doing work like this. There are 0 (that’s literally ZERO) windows in the entire office, making it really cold all the time. Everyone is very busy doing their own thing, and I often find it difficult to connect with people during the day because they’re always rushing around. We start at 8 am and end at 6 pm (including a 2 hour lunch break), but most people still look at me funny when I leave at 6 because everyone stays until at least 7:30. And what makes it even harder is that the actual work I’m doing right now is writing in Spanish, which, although my speaking has definitely improved over the last 3 months, is still a huge challenge. I get bored. And antsy. A lot.
The good news is that I really believe in the work that I’m doing. I am helping to develop curriculum to train women and men of rural communities in social skills. This is a 3-part project: self-esteem, interpersonal communication, and problem solving. Each part includes a theoretical/conceptual explanation and an activity book of practical ways to develop these skills. My work also includes trips out to communities to try out the activities that I brainstorm, as well as to interview women about how they approach problems in order to inform my work. I definitely enjoy these trips more than my time in the office!
I’ve spent the last 3 weeks working on the self-esteem “module.” It has actually been really interesting to research and write on this topic, and I am finding that it really speaks to me in my place right now. Being in a setting where everything is new and challenging is making me realize how much of my self worth I find in my achievements and in what others think of me. When I am critiqued or criticized, I often take it very personally and feel bad about myself as a person, rather than viewing it as an opportunity to improve what I have done. I am struggling to remember that I am a beloved daughter of God no matter WHAT I do or don’t do … and that is fundamental to the good self-esteem we are trying to develop in the campesinos!
While I don’t really like being in the office, I do really like a lot of the people that I work with. I am in a room with 2 other Paz employees, and I am really enjoying getting to know Mery, who sits at the desk next to me. We have started praying together every morning, and she is also always in favor of escaping from the office for a morning snack. She makes me laugh a lot because she talks to herself, too!
(Pictures of eating lunch with Anita, Milagros, Elizabeth, and Elizabeth's husband; and me and Jessica in the office). I am also enjoying spending time with coworkers Anita, Angela, Nimia, and Jessica
outside the office. I am so encouraged that they are inviting me to do more things with them, like watch a movie, go out to dinner, or hit the disco for some crazy cumbya dancing! Anita has also invited me to hang out with some of her non-work friends, and I am really loving spending time with a new friend named Milagros especially. This past week I was so excited when she took me to a coffee shop where they have Internet! The only one like that around here, I think … Yay for friends!Please pray for me during the hours of 8am and 6pm on weekdays, as they are often very difficult ones. I am glad to have more concrete work to do, but it has still not been easy to get this work done. I am also frustrated that my supervisor is often too busy to meet with me, and when we do meet I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. Pray with me that I will take to heart the things that I’m discovering about self-esteem, and the importance of realizing that God loves me no matter what I do or don’t do. What a key life lesson that I am privileged to be learning in Andahuaylas, Peru!
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